11.17.2014

waiting for no moment

sick stomach calm calm wakeful wakeful wait

11.15.2014

missed

sleep till the wakefulness
awake, but wanting sleep
after a walk with my old
friend me.  I cannot wait
to see you you who relieve me you who will always be

what were we ever

6.21.2011

overheard tavern

saying like
you are not
saying
but

you are

saying so
charmingly
dismissive

11.13.2014

hear me out

I wait will I wait sad do I know sadness ever or is the next best thing a sort of sadness itself.
I want to escape all that there is or ever will be without notice.  Just gone out of everything
that is and isn't.  I never knew anything else.  This is all I know.  You too.  You also will be
with me in our desire for this escape, you who almost knows it too now, now it dawns on
you completely, that the only thing that ever was real was our desire to escape all reality.

11.10.2014

sanctuary salvation

wait

we will go

he holds what we need and says:

lets get going

airport

you know

11.08.2014

we go out for this on a friday I name thursday

wait? no.  we will never wait for the the joy that was always there for us 

please

friend

11.07.2014

don't dismiss


 thank you
 thank you
 thank you
 thank you
 thank you
 thank you
 thank you
 thank you
 thank you
 thank you
 thank you
 thank you
 thank you
 thank you
 thank you

With what can't be done

The dead leafs never stop blowing by

A math problem that makes your mind break

11.06.2014

an apartment

selective seeing.

select my being ok whith our leaving.

holding feeling.  feeling feelings, feelings
we cannot even muster saying how we're seeing our feelings pass.

as they pass they believe with a belief we will never know that they know in their purity of no self knowing.

the feelings of these words know what they mean before we know them as they never will be but to themselves they know how we're feeling.

do you ever know how you're feeling? 

will you ever really know how you felt now as you're reading? or hearing?

this, as this is, as this is simply this, it fills up what we will know as

us

climb

be me
be me going.

be me
going on

&on&on

going on in a way we know better
better as being

the way out

the way outside is easy, it's so easy it
fills us with the knowledge of us as us

Ben Luton

cold comfort, co
ming to mea
ning

many. many.
there are many here, hearing me type, say, sa
ying many.

I hold you, you who were, you who were here that wa
s never here, who will never be here, he
re with my friend
my fri
end

who I kno
w is my
friend.

he is my friend.

he who hold me he
re
in
hi
s home, his home where h
e holds me apart of not knowing we know what w
e were mea
nt to be. he who ho
ld
s me
kn
ow
in
g me not as I was
wh
en I las
t held his comp
any,
his com
pany held me me as it was when we knew me
bette
r th
an
where we ar
e, wh
ere w
e ar
e go
ing

11.05.2014

Were any of them really mine

New York nights are best left to chance
Plans don't exist here, daytime either
Night never ends unless you're left
With no more friends, friends
Never had holding hands
Turning in a circle
Singing in a circle:
'We wish you would get somewhere

Then we would meet you there'

Nothing Better To Do

Palm tree

10.30.2014

excitement of the new season's love of your new laxative

fast feeling. fast feeling. fast feeling. fast, fast feeling.

this is fast. my god, my god how fast. my god how fast
this feels, how fast this feels out feeling out feelings never felt.
my father. my god. my father, how fast! how fast the ghost river goes!
how fast it goes, with a clitter clack! with a clitter clack it cracks bad friends
to me to me it cracks with a clitter clack bad friends to better me by the being
better to me outside of busy.  too busy to be slothful slothfully with me we are
together singing: Never will we be slothful! together, slothful, together, bad and
good friends, past present not present and future friends, all, all slothful, together,
in chorus, together, warmed by togetherness, the togetherness of our privilege
to be, to be, our privilege to be slothful filling us with slow joy, slow joy of
fast dancing, fast dancing to fill out forms we never will fill out for jobs
we will never need. we will never need a job or work or wakefulness
or sleep or slothfulness or sleep or rallying together we dance
night to day we dance, how we dance knowing we will
never know what makes us dance so slothfully fast
feasting upon the light of our sparked hopes,
our highest hopes we would otherwise
be embarrassed to say, embarrassed
to say that we hope such high hopes
holding onto our highest hopes
sharing them unashamed
while we dance,
dancing, we
sing

we sing
we sing
we sing while dancing along with this song of hope fulfillment
our dad arrives and we slow to the sound of his cop shows. we slow! we slow
to the gentle gilded aura of his cop shows sheen.  his cop show shows us
what is wrong with all of us as our green beans boil, boil to the perfect
sound of changing channels, changing the channel to ask what boats
appear to disappear to the sound of what made them possible, the
cold calling, the warm calling, the real estate and construction
jobs that made boats escapes possible for a lack of costume.

forgotten

You are you are that are with me
I am I am that am with you

Cold hold tight night's
Held warmth day

Believe me, I
Will be
Home

oh good

I can look at pictures
I can look at myself,

with long forgotten
dreams of places
we never knew
existed because
they never did
and never will

the order is
dismissed
regularly
now we
know I
never
was
better than
I was now.

I can hold on
I can hold onto
my phone, and
what we might
be we being me
and me with an
an an unknown
you seeking me
to find me looking
good being good being
prosperous in now now
now we know you don't
exist otherwise than my
needing another day another
moment of now replacing now

upbeat
upbeat song

sad song solo song
that fills feeling content
in feeling feelings for a
change looking for change
feeling the inside of practical
pockets

you know
you know me

you know.

like,
like us
like me

I like you
who turns
away from
beds left unmade in the daylight to return to unmade in the night


it's a combination of things, it's the belief in alarm clocks sounds
I don't know better than my knowledge of now there here you
go

10.29.2014

two words (collaboration w/ jennifergrimyser.com)


i'll start
secondary start
think now
minute moment
never thinks
begin began
best becoming
new thingy
successful enough
plenty possible
done upward
good one
better two
too double
about how
who almost
relax attacks 
light pile
of going
active both
going off
somewhat some
delicious treats
take come
back some

follow down
up spun

extreme between
instances mosaic
partitioned consequence
two nows 
never not
dreamt exempt

Acceptance Answers

Tropical rain dresses to impress upon us a lady we can all rely on.
Darts
Darts
Darts

Hey dad how can we surmount sad driftings?
Hey dad why can't we always feel the peace

Of big clear couch and comfy big screen

Movements slowed to lessening natural
Need
Need

Need Nothing's presence

SO BAD,
so bad that it's
Good to have
This lazy chair
After cleaning

Responses and no reply
Falls
Falling
Great Falls.

Calm accepting
Of everything always

That's all
Fourtunate
Perfect all
Natural

Acceptance action